“It’s a deal! You practice your English. I’ll practice my sex.”
For years, young Japanese women would walk up to me from out of nowhere—especially on streetcars—and want to “practice their English”. Seriously, no ulterior motives. Not that that made it any the less rude, as far as I was concerned—not being an English speaking machine placed on earth for their specific convenience. Nonetheless, not wanting to be rude myself, I went along with it for years.
Until it just got too old for me to roll over on command. So I came up with a witty little comeback designed to address the affront—and get me out of the situation. To wit. “I’m a foreigner, so I speak English. And you’re a woman. So in exchange for my English, maybe I could just take a quick peek down your blouse?” I knew they would think I was a monster, probably that all foreigners were monsters, but I didn’t care. It would make me feel better, and that was enough. Every time I boarded public transportation, I practiced so I wouldn’t freeze up. Waiting.
And no one ever accosted me again. Oh well, at least I got a T-shirt out of it.
Design size 7½” x 7½”
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